Many recent articles and news reports have focused on the topic of a “Gray Divorce.” Although there is no real definition, the term is intended to refer to couples over the age of 50 getting divorced. Although the percentage of couples getting divorced has dropped overall, the percentage of couples over the age of 50 (or 60) is increasing. If you are over 50 and have been in a long-term marriage (especially over 20 years), there are important issues you should consider before making the decision to get divorced.

  1. Have you been working outside the home for most of your marriage? If not, the financial impact of this divorce could be devastating as your income will be significantly reduced. It may be too late in life to secure an education, or the skills needed to secure a good-paying job. It also impacts your ability to maximize the amount you receive from Social Security following retirement, as you may only be eligible for half of what your spouse will receive.
  2. Will you have time to recover financially after the divorce? Having enough years to continue working, contributing toward retirement, after divorce can have a significant positive impact to your financial well-being. Although each spouse will receive half of the assets, there may not be enough time to recover the amounts lost to enable one or both spouses to be financially independent.
  3. A long-term marriage may mean a lengthy period to pay alimony. In New Hampshire, alimony can be ordered for half of the length of the marriage. With a 20-year marriage, this means a former spouse may need to pay alimony for 10 years! That can be a very long period of time if he/she is trying to rebuild his/her financial well-being.
  4. Will you need to sell your family home? This can be emotionally devastating for one or both spouses as it is often the home in which they have lived for a long time. It is also the home their children grew up in. This can be very difficult for the couple’s children, even if they are all adults.
  5. Will you even want to keep your family home? Although many couples want to keep the family home for sentimental reasons, the cost of doing so can have a lasting negative impact. If the home is older, the maintenance and repairs will likely be more costly. Depending on the housing market, keeping the home may limit the ability to experience growth in his/her asset values, especially if the market is trending downward.
  6. Will you have health insurance coverage after you divorce? Although New Hampshire law requires group health insurance companies to allow a divorced spouse to remain on the group health insurance plan for 3 years after divorce, the state and federal government, and also self-insured companies are not required to comply with this law. In addition, some companies simply choose not to, especially if they are headquartered out of state. Health insurance becomes even more complicated for the younger spouse as the older spouse may be eligible for Medicare at age 65, but this provides no options for the younger spouse who is not yet eligible for Medicare.

If you are considering a “gray divorce,” you should consider a Collaborative Divorce process. In a Collaborative Divorce process, the couple is able to consider all factors associated with their divorce, including the timing and impact to each spouse. The couple will have a financial professional on the Collaborative Divorce team to assist them in making financial decisions, beneficial to both parties. The coach on the Collaborative Divorce team will assist both parties in understanding and working through the emotional aspects of a gray divorce, helping the couple to avoid making sentimental decisions that may cause major financial challenges. You will also have your own attorney on the Collaborative Divorce team, helping you to think about and consider all aspects of the divorce.

If you have questions about a Collaborative Divorce or would like to proceed with a Collaborative Divorce, contact Attorney Cathy McKay or Attorney David Stamatis at Parnell, Michels & McKay, PLLC. They can help you to understand the process and decide whether the process is right for you and your family.